The Ortho that almost got knee-capped….

Approximately 2 years ago, my hip started giving out occasionally. I began going to my Chiropractor (who is also a friend), and we started a course of treatment for my lower back. This seemed to help somewhat with the leg problem, as it wasn’t giving out very often, and it helped a great deal with my back. I had 3 tumors radiated in that spot years ago at the beginning of the cancer journey, so I probably have the lower back of an 80-year-old.

Anyway…

Those appointments seemed to help, but my hip would still hurt at random times, which we thought was due to the back issues.

Last April I broke my ankle and was in a boot for 7 weeks. That made the same aforementioned hip hurt like crazy as did my knee. I went to my regular doctor’s office, and they diagnosed bursitis, which also made sense based on what I had been doing. I started an additional round of Physical Therapy and thought I would be getting better soon if I just worked through the pain. The problem was, my hip started getting worse….

Much worse….

Realizing that I wasn’t getting enough sleep due to pain, I made an appt with an Orthopedic surgeon to see if I needed an injection in the hip to help with the bursitis. Imagine my surprise when the doctor blew into the room and said I needed a total hip replacement.

I was in shock. What made matters much worse was the way the doctor treated me. He made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be alive. He said he wouldn’t do surgery unless I lost 60 pounds because, and I quote, “I would just wear it out again.”

I’ve never had that come from a medical professional before.

(“Professional” should probably be in quotes as he was not behaving professionally….)

Now I would have been perfectly fine if he had given me the facts and said I needed to lose weight for the surgery to go better etc. But that is not what he did. The word I would use to describe his attitude is “derisive.” He looked at me with disgust, grabbed his calculator, and put in my weight and height and said he wouldn’t touch me if I didn’t lose at least 60 pounds but maybe a colleague of his would do it for less.

To say I was in shock is an understatement. I have been to A LOT of medical professionals since being diagnosed with cancer. I have seen residents, students, and experts over the years.

I have NEVER had even one of them make me feel like I didn’t deserve to be treated.

This guy basically sent me packing, told me to get a cane, and come back when I am worthy.  NO plan…NOTHING. He did prescribe some pain meds that I didn’t pick up. I told him I was barely using Advil and asked why I needed anything else, and he said, “because that’s not a prescription.”  

Well then…I am so glad I can help you out with your quota you misogynistic *bleep*…. 

I left the appointment and burst into tears in the parking lot. This poor woman walking by asked if she could help me. I didn’t even realize she was there and after assuring her I would be fine and that I appreciated her offer, I drove home.

When I called Jeff to tell him what had happened, he went into fixing mode and said he was going to check into stem cell therapy. I had never heard of it, but I was willing to try anything as I had no other options. (BTW…the Ortho said there were no other options besides the surgery he refused to perform….)

What do you do when you’ve been treated like you don’t deserve to be alive? Well, I don’t know about you, but I cry out to God to help me make sense of it all. You see, I live my life by the scripture Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Cancer has been used for my good to His glory for many years now, and I knew that if I searched, I could find the good in what happened to me at that Ortho’s office.

So, I prayed…and waited…. 

To think I hadn’t already been praying about the horrible pain for the last several years would be inaccurate. As a matter of fact, I had prayed a few months ago and asked God what I was supposed to be learning or doing about the pain. He told me that I needed to develop new habits, and I knew he meant new eating habits. I was talking to our pastor’s wife at church and told her that He had said to develop new habits and that I would start to get improvement after developing those habits. I asked her if she knew how long that would take. She said she thought it was 30 days…. 

Here’s the thing…. EXACTLY 30 days from when I cried out to God about my pain was when I had the horrible Ortho appt, and in those 30 days, I had been working very diligently to develop new eating habits. (I’m still holding true to those new habits.) In other words, I had developed new habits and I received my answer in exactly 30 days.

I had my initial evaluation at the Stem cell clinic and was grateful that I still had enough cartilage to make me a candidate. What they do is harvest your own stem cells from your fat (I have an abundant harvest there) and run a 2-hour process to get the stem cells out and then inject them into the site needing healing. When Jeff and I left the appt, I said it is like Jesus using spit in the mud to heal the blind beggar (John 9 1-12).

Now I didn’t know at the time why I felt like this was similar, but I found out later.

When I told my mom that I felt like this stem cell procedure was being used by Jesus to heal me because he heals in many ways, like the spit in the eyes, she pointed out that Jesus healed the blind man with spit because he had probably been spat on as a beggar. Jesus used the very thing that was part of the man’s torture to heal him. She also said when Jesus sent the lepers to the Priests which healed them (Luke 17 11-19) that the priests would have been the ones to kick them out of society, so again Jesus used what was part of their pain and sorrow to heal them.

That’s when I had my next revelation (at 3 a.m. Not sure why I couldn’t get it during waking hours, but I’ll take it when I can get it), that my FAT (where they harvested the stem cells) was going to be used to heal ME!!

How cool is that!

The very thing that has caused me so much pain in my life was going to be part of my healing process. Knowing that gave me more hope than I have had in a long time.

In fairness to the derisive doctor (which I will tell you is a MUCH nicer name than I had given him to my family and a few close friends), he didn’t know that I was fatter than I had ever been because I haven’t been able to exercise for 2 years due to pain. He didn’t know that we didn’t have a kitchen to cook in for 6 months so ate out most of the time. He didn’t know that I started gaining weight my sophomore year of college after getting attacked by a guy and had to fight him off (which I did).

People aren’t fat because they just like their clothes to fit uncomfortably. There are reasons. Over the years, I have been working on my issues, mostly fear based, so I am now in a good place to move forward in health. But it has been a process. I will admit that part of the process has been to ask God to forgive me. You see, I’ve had the same attitude at times as the doctor—not to people’s faces, as I NEVER want to hurt others—but I’ve had the attitude.

I’ve had very judgmental thoughts about others for their issues, addictions, and problems. Though I would never want them to know I had those thoughts, I still had them, and in that, I was just as bad as the doctor.

OUCH!

So, my next task was to confess my sin of being judgmental of others and ask God to forgive me. This was done AFTER I forgave the doctor (Mathew 6: 14-15).

Well, the last month-and-a-half has been interesting to say the least. I had the stem cell procedure 2 weeks ago and I look forward to the day that I can walk without a cane again. God is Good, and I fully expect Him to glorify His name through my body and my story…  

And I didn’t even have to knee-cap an ortho to do it!